Conservative vs. Liberal (2/24/10)
* If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.
* If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.
* If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
* If a liberal is, he wants to ban all meat products for everyone.
* If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
* A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
* If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
* If a liberal is homosexual, he loudly demands legislated respect.
* If a black man or Hispanic are conservative,
they see themselves as independently successful.
* Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims
in need of government protection.
* If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
* A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
* If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
* Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
* If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
* A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God or religion silenced.
* If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
* A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.