A Simple Friend

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself (and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer drawer' with her foot!)
A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects! you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!