Some Days I Wonder (10/29/13)

A few days ago, after leaving a meeting at church, I reached for my car keys in my pocket, only to discover they weren't there. Desperately, I gave myself a quick personal pat down. But they were not in any of my pockets. So, I went back to the meeting room and looked every place I had been. Suddenly it dawned on me, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

 
My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
 
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all.
 
"Honey," I stammered. I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
 
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Diane's voice.
 
"Ken," she barked, "I dropped you off!"
 
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "In that case, would you please come and pick me up?"
 
Diane retorted, "I will....... just as soon as I can convince this policeman I didn't steal your car."