* If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.
* If a liberal doesn't like guns, he feels that no one should have one.
Jake, the rancher, went one day
To fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty
And the clouds rolled gray and dense.
Clint Smith, Director of Thunder Ranch, is part Drill Instructor, and part stand up comic.
A member of a church, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher decided to visit him.
•I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
•I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, “Can you afford fries with that?”
By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into the sixth day working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
“We’re in trouble…
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
"It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better.
A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.