This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand
new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her
eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway
over in my lane, still working on that makeup. I don’t scare easily, but she scared me so
much I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all
the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call. Damn driver!